By Rev. Robin Gray
Confucius said: “You are humane if you can practice five things in the world: respectfulness, magnanimity, truthfulness, acuity and generosity.”
Though Confucius never imagined us, we share his dream of being humane. We want to be a people who exemplify the best of human attributes. Therefore, we can consider whether the five disciplines Confucius points toward are still an excellent foundation for humane living in our little corner of the world.
Respectfulness: The practice of holding other human beings in high esteem and treating them with care never goes out of style. In our times, the word “respect” has a tinge of the hierarchical about it, suggesting that some are indeed deserving of more or less respect because of their station, accomplishments, gender, age or status. Yet, the attitude of respectfulness as it arises in one person’s heart need not be governed by considerations of relative position in society. Respectfulness as a discipline requires extending positive regard to all the people we meet.
Magnanimity: Magnanimous people are slow to take offense. They do not see offense where none was offered, and they don't keep any kind of inventory of minor offenses even when the offender acted with intent. Magnanimous people are not to be confused with doormats. They know when they have been offended and they are resourceful. They are able to enlarge their thinking, address their feelings, and extend forgiveness to others. In churches, as in Chinese society, the mutual practice of magnanimity takes the sharp edges off our interactions with each other. We can address slights or offenses with open minds and hearts. We can see how our own actions might offend others and offer sincere apologies when needed, practicing a bit of magnanimity in our own behalf.
Truthfulness: Being true to oneself, speaking the truth in love, and being honest and forthright in all our interactions are phases of the truthfulness that lead groups toward greater cohesion. Yet, the truth offered to others must always be accompanied by respect and magnanimity. Criticisms disguised as “truth” are wolves in sheep’s clothing; they might seem harmless, but they have a ferocious bite. Anger and animosity dressed up to look like a “truth you should know for your own good” are equally dangerous. The only truthfulness we can offer each other is the truth of our own experience; our own feelings, our own hopes. Everything else has sharp teeth and long ears.
Acuity: The word suggests having a keen vision, as well as the wisdom to move toward it. As individuals, we have to have a vision for our lives. A clear, sharply defined vision helps us to focus on goals and to reach toward those goals. Acuity also helps us to determine whether this vision or that is a good fit for our skills and limitations. With a vision in mind, we know when we’re missing the mark as well as when we are on the mark. Acuity encourages us to evaluate, judge, and refine or redesign the vision so it remains in focus. A keen vision, shared by the members, also helps to build cohesiveness in a group. Acuity isn’t the shining goal itself, but the vehicle that helps us move toward the vision.
Generosity: Generosity begets gifts. People can be generous with their time, their energy, their money, and their talents. Generosity arises in the intersection between what we have and what we are able to give away without regret. Regrets are useless once the gift has been given. More time may be lurking around the bend. We might find our energies renewed. More money can be earned. Our talents may expand in days to come, but the gifts of each, once given will not return to us. This is the ultimate lesson in “letting go.” Generosity does not seek an accounting for its gifts. It learns to rejoice in the abundance that made the gift possible.
I can only imagine that our community will benefit if we each seek to carry these five practices into our life together. May it ever be so.
