Learning Peace

As I reflected on my own experiences after the service Dreams of Peace this last Sunday, I wondered what pictures of peace I would carry forward into the future.  I was able to surface a number of peace-provoking experiences.  

The meditation we sang and shared together brought me a deep feeling of calm. We sang first: “I am worn, I am tired, in my quiet sorrow. Hopelessness will not let me be. Help me.” Then we followed that with a spoken meditation that called on images of peace through allusions to music, and finally sang: “When I breathe in, I breathe in peace. When I breathe out, I breathe out I’ll breathe out love.” By the end of the cycle, I felt myself releasing real tensions and anger; and, rising in compassion and forgiveness.  I want to hold that feeling inside for as long as I can keep it with me.

I also thought about the Soulful Sundown the Young Adults offered us on Saturday evening.  We sang songs and heard readings that helped me to experience the promised opportunity to slow down. That feeling is another one that I will want to carry into my daily life to renew a commitment to peace.

I will carry with me, too, a memory from the Community Human Services Partnership award process. Last week, I was one of a group of seven ordinary citizens who volunteered to help make decisions about how pooled human service grants would be awarded in Leon County. We were only looking at seven programs that serve low and moderate income people, in a bevy of dozens and dozens of applicants. We did our homework, listened to agency presentations, and then began deliberations.  

Each person spoke about what they’d discovered and seen. Some comments were supportive, others were corrective. When we all gave assent to something, it was posted on the feedback sheet. We ranked the seven programs in a multi-step process. That was good news for some programs, and not so good news for others.  

Then, we were confronted with the fact that we had requests for about $80,000 more than we could award. Five hours of deliberation in total. Feelings shared. Compromises offered. Facts checked. Our mission to serve low-income, vulnerable people brought to the fore a number of times. Decisions made. And, in the end relief.  Relief accompanied by grateful praise. We took our job seriously, spoke our minds, and treated each other with the same respect we hope all our agencies offer to their clients. We took the peaceful path even when we had different opinions. We were a part of making a small peace. 

I am thankful for the peace that is, at times, alive in my heart, alive in my experience.  I am mindful of a living peace working in my memory, creating new opportunities to reach toward peace. May we all be so blessed.

- Robin Gray